Sometimes enough is enough

A couple I know have just broken up. I love them both. They have struggled together for the past few years trying to make things work between them. They've had numerous counselling sessions and tried to change the way they are together, but it has always come back to both of them holding a firm belief – that things would be better if only the other would change! This reminds me of something the renowned couples therapist Harville Hendrix often says: "When a person gets married, he or she often believes, 'Ah, now we two will become one – and I will be the one!'" But no. Two remain two, ideally firmly on their own two feet and with the desire and compassion to see their own shortcomings as well as the other's point of view. Mostly it is sad when a couple who have loved each other decide to separate, especially when children are involved as they can take it very hard, but in this case it feels like a relief. I am probably not their only friend who feels that at last they will stop blaming each other for their own dissatisfaction. They tried, but there were areas where no compromise was ever going to be made. Fortunately no children were harmed in the making of this decision.